2016 looking back and moving forward
I’ve been wanting to write a review of 2016 and what I learned and how it went, but gosh, I don’t even know where to start.
I’ve kind of been just starring at my computer screen with the words swirling around in my head with my eyes wide open, ‘Did that year just happen and did I really just survive all of that?’ beccuuuuzzz I’m pretty sure there were a few moments in time that I was positive that the sky was falling and my life was over.
It was a year that contained probably every emotion possible known to man. Along with feelings and emotions that I had never felt before. I have never grown so much so quickly. A lot of times it was me figuratively throwing a fit, kicking and stomping, and lying on the ground refusing to get up. But I got up. And I survived. And it has made me all the stronger because of it.
Sometimes I feel like I was thrown into a crash course. ‘Here Janica, you asked for it…JUMP and learn how to fly while you’re free falling’.
I will forever be grateful for this past year. Grateful for all the tears, heartache, loneliness, times where I wanted to chose out, feeling sick to my stomach, doubt from myself and others, confusion, feelings of being lost, being ‘written off’ by close people, fear, and days of not knowing how I will ever be able to feel happy again.
How can I be truly grateful for all of that?
All THAT is how I gained my strength, courage, and ability to learn to love ME. All of that is how I learned what unconditional love actually REALLY is. All of that is how I learned what FAITH really is. All of that is how I have come to know and practice what it means to truly be non-judgmental. All of that is how I gained a personal relationship with Christ. All of that taught me to trust myself like never before. All of that taught me to take 100% responsibility for my emotions and what went on in my life. All of that taught me A LOT about me.
At points, I HAD to go to the depths of me. The darkest parts that were uncomfortable to go to because of the pain that was stored. I had to go there to be able to come out on top. Or I would have stayed in my own judgements, doubts, shame, and guilt. I had to go there to really learn what made me, me. And then CHOSE what I wanted to become all while checking in with what was in alignment with who Janica was created to be.
I’ve really understood and learned how amazing life is. How amazing our bodies are. How amazingly divinely crafted each and every one of us and our lives are. I’ve felt and seen how truly ‘small’ we are in comparison to what’s going on around us. And that we don’t ‘know it all’ but there’s someone who does. And you get to check in with Him daily and how ever watching, loving and caring He is. He knows you and he’s ALWAYS there and the only person you should ask, ‘where did you go?’ to…is yourself.
2016 was a year where I really got to know who Janica was, is, and is becoming.
And… I kinda really like her. Like… a lot. (She’s pretty dang cool 😉 )
I didn’t used to. There used to be quite a bit of hate. There used to be tons of guilt, shame, and doubt. There used to be A LOT of wanting to be just liked other people.
I started out on a journey to learn to love who I was so that I could start to become who I was meant to be. I asked for it and boy did I get it. haha
I would say that the main most important things that I learned from 2016 are: choice, you know you, and it’s an inside job.
Choice: I could go on forever about choice. Simply…this is the beauty of being alive. We have choice and we can exercise choice EVERY second of EVERY day. You can choose to change. You don’t have to stay the same person you look at in the mirror and don’t like. You get to choose what you want.
You know YOU: You know you better than ANYONE else knows you. You were created amazing already, you just get to remember it. Everything you need to know, everything you get to do and be is ALREADY inside of you. You just get to remember! No one else has the same make up that you do. So let them be them and allow YOU to be you.
It’s an inside job: If you want your outside world to change, you’ve got to change your inside world. Starting from looking WITHIN will get you to where you’re trying to get. Once YOU expand, then everything else around you expands. You can wish and want all day long but unless you BELIEVE that you’re worth it or that you deserve it…you’re gonna self sabotage that stuff away from you all day long.
Do I want another year like 2016?? ummm… yes and no. haha.
I definitely am better equipped mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I’ll take whatever comes my way to allow me more growth, more faith, more love, more strength, more courage, more like-minded beings, more success, more joy, more choice, and more happiness.
I am GRATEFUL for 2016 and the amazing friends that I had by my side through each part of it. I would not have been able to get through certain points without them as friends and mentors. Yes, ‘I know I had it in me already’, but I would not have remembered, learned, or got through it as quickly without each of them separately. They know who they are and I am forever thankful for everything each of them has taught me, helped me with and through.
AND because of them and everything I have learned, I keep going toward my passion of mentoring others through this crazy fun adventure of life.
I’ve never been more hesitant and almost fearful to close one chapter and start writing the next. I was physically ill New Years Eve. I know it stemmed from my mental and emotional state. I was all sorts of crazied up inside.
That’s when I got to learn that I can CHOOSE how this next year will look and be. I am worthy and deserving of what I want in life. Annnddd drumroll…. so are you. Every. Single. one of you.
And changing that mindset got me excited for this new year. Took me three days in but I got there 😉 (That ‘unworthiness’ monster is sometimes a beast, haha)
What will you create for 2017?! What does it look like? What does it feel like??
It doesn’t have to look or feel like anything you don’t want it to. You have that choice, you have that power. Once you can feel and understand that, it makes a WORLD of difference!
Want in on that difference? Shoot me an email {[email protected]} and we can set up a time to chat and see if it’s a 100% fit and ‘yes’ on your end and mine.
This is going to be a year of change makers. I can feel it.
2017. Bring it.