Move forward daily, or be stuck in the same cycle you have always been in.
Man, If I had a dollar for every time this has happened to me, (the stuck part) within the last year, I’d be rich. I’m a recovering people pleaser 😉 With that comes WORRY.
“Well if I do this, they will think this but if I try this, this might do this, but maybe if I switched just this then they wouldn’t think that…” And on and on and on. Painful to read, right? Painful to LIVE in. I’ve allowed myself to live in that. The constant worry of what OTHERS are thinking. The constant trying to switch around what I’m doing to please EVERYONE ELSE.
Let me tell ya, that is NOT a fun way to live. Constant headaches when I’m in that state of mind. I fall into this super super easy. Sometimes without even realizing I’m doing it. Until my headache is too much to bear or it just starts getting really annoying.
So how have I tried to get out of my constant battle? Move forward with ME. It’s a continual battle for me almost DAILY. It gets exhausting. I get so worried about what I’m doing and how it will effect others because I don’t want anyone to hurt that I forget about ME. What do I need to do to move forward and follow what my path is?
Number one problem with my tendency above to make sure that no one is effected by what I’m doing….I’m robbing them of their experience in life. I truly believe that everything we go through is perfect for US. We each have our individual life lessons we need to learn and sometimes the same as others, a lot of times not. So by me trying to people please and throw a pillow under people every time I do something that may cause a ripple in their life, I’m doing a disservice to them and me. I’m doing a disservice to their experience and I’m devaluing and not even believing in MY OWN experience. I’m not allowing myself to be ME.
Now, this doesn’t mean that I don’t care about people or what they’re going through. I’ve actually learned that unconditional love is NOT being a buffer for someone else’s experience of maybe a reflection of what you are doing. I can be there in support for them, I can send them love and good vibes all day. But I’m doing them more harm by trying to soften what they’re going through. We each NEED the experiences we go through to learn and to grow. So by me allowing them that experience I am loving them enough to be there for them if they need me, but I can’t try and take the experience or pain away.
Enter hamster wheel. I’ve been stuck in that dang thing way too many times. Good learning experiences for sure but how many times do I have to bang my head against the same wall until I get it!? For REEAALLLZZZ.
How do my headaches go away? Focus on what I’m being told to do. Focus on asking what I can do daily to love myself. Focus on what my next step to move forward is. Focus on expanding what I can do to feel light and free daily.
I’m up at 4:51 am writing this because I’m going through the same thing again and can’t sleep because of the headache, so I might as well write about it so I can work through it 😉