when you’re not always ‘on’

I’ll admit, my last post was maybe a little harsh and straight forward. I felt strongly that I needed to share my thoughts BUT I wasn’t completely in a space coming from just love.

Let’s just say I can get a little sassy. It’s one thing I’m always trying to tone down. haha. A little bit of sass is good but where’s the intent?

I was sharing because it felt strong, but I still needed to do a little forgiveness with others and myself before posting it. There was a bit of ‘I’ll show you’ attitude mixed in with it annnnnd that’s never good. I was hurt and I let it get to me in ways that weren’t for my best good nor for the energy and intent behind the post and it carried over into it.

I apologize. I don’t claim to be perfect by any means. Even though I let that little demon sit inside for far too long sometimes 😉

I get passionate and sometimes when I’m going through really hard and emotional things I get the attitude of wanting to help people see the effects of the pain. That is where I am off. That is where I am trying to control situations, people, outcomes. And for me, that is not in anyone’s highest good. It feels heavy and it gets me stuck. It doesn’t spread any goodness and just carries more pain and lower vibes.

I don’t need to ‘prove’ myself to anyone. I don’t need anyone on ‘my side’. Even though that’s the self trap I put myself into over and over again. I’m trying to (in my mind) force those that I think are supposed to support me and understand to actually support and understand me. And again, that’s where I’m off.

A quote that I have been loving lately is ‘You be you, and I’ll be me’. Love everyone for who they are and don’t try and force or control or change anyone into being or becoming who YOU think they should be or what role they’re meant to play in your life. Cuz the truth is, we don’t really know… We don’t know the lessons that we need that are for our highest good. We don’t always understand why things play out the way they seem to play out. All we can do is love ourselves enough that we allow ourselves to have the capacity to love others the same way. Because if we don’t love ourselves… how is it even possible to completely love others?

Just needed to share this little post today. I’m not always ‘on’. I make mistakes and I’m trying to learn from all of my mistakes.

Loves,

Janica